Agapé as universal love in Erich Fromm’s teaching

 I was able to obtain an eBook edition of Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving. In this book the famous psychologist explores ways that people can become more loving with one another. 

Although Dr. Fromm never uses the word ‘agapé,’ in those places where he uses ‘love’ in a universal, spiritual way that the meaning is ‘agapé,’ I found that I gained deeper awareness of his teaching when the word 'love' was changed to ‘agape’ in the following quotes.

“What matters in relation to agapé is the faith in one’s own agapé; in its ability to produce a reaction of agape in others, and in its reliability.

“The capacity to experience agape demands a state of intensity, awareness, enhanced vitality, which can only be the result of a productive and active orientation in many other spheres of life.

“There is only one proof for the presence of agapé: the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned; this is the fruit by which agape is recognized.

“Agapé is an activity, a power of the soul.

“Agapé encompasses the sense of responsibility, care, respect, knowledge of any other human being, the wish to further another’s life. Agape is love for all human beings; it is characterized by its very lack of exclusiveness.

“Agapé is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it involves an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one “object” of love. Agapé is an active power in us; a power which breaks through the walls which separate one from another, which unites us with others; agapé makes us overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits us to be ourselves, to retain our integrity.

“There is no ‘division of labor’ between agapé for one’s own and agapé for strangers.

“If I truly share agapé with one person, I’m open to agapé with all persons, I have agapé with the world, I’m open to agapé with life. If I can say to somebody else, “I share agapé with you,” I must be able to say, “I share agapé with you in everybody, I share agapé through you to the world, I share agapé in you also myself.” 

“Those who are seriously concerned with agapé as the only rational answer to the problem of human existence must arrive at the conclusion that important and radical changes in our social structure are necessary.  To have faith in the possibility of agapé as a social and not only exceptional-individual phenomenon, is a rational faith based on the insight into the very human nature.”

Dr. Fromm’s insights thus fit in with the other insights about agapé that I’ve explored throughout the postings of this blog. In this blog I’ve tried to show what Dr. Fromm meant about “the only rational answer to the problem of human existence.”

Agape for friends, family, and strangers

The 4th step of agape prayer needed to be combined with the 3rd step during the 3rd week of the group meditation at church. This squeezing of steps had to be done in order to cover 5 weeks in the middle of Lent. I had asked each participant to choose a friend and a family member for the evening’s focus. Then they were to think of a mere acquaintance for whom there was no emotional connection.

Even though the 2 steps would focus on the spiritual power of agape going beyond ourselves, we started the meditation by focusing on ourselves, because it's deep within ourselves that we find, and slowly become aware of agape. That’s why each step of the agape meditation process begins by going within. You need to sense agape flowing within yourself so you can imagine projecting your awareness of agape flowing beyond yourself to others (radiating out to others).

We prepared by disengaging from all of the distractions and concerns of the past week. As always this was done by focusing on our breath. First we released the tensions of the day by taking a deep breath and sighing it away, then slowly focusing on our natural rhythm of breathing. Then we let our attention follow the flowing of air down deep into our lungs.

As we let our awareness move deeper and deeper into our heart-center we focused on a special presence. We relaxed completely into a profound realization of agape spreading from deep within our heart-center, permeating our being, bringing to each person a sense of what it is to fulfill our well-being and have a deep sense of joy.

And so we took a few minutes to experience agape as a spiritual gift, opening us up spiritually and eventually awakening us to divine Presence.

Then we began thinking of a friend. We thought that person’s name 3 times, then formed an image of that person. We prayed about what it means, in specific, personal detail, for agape to work in that person’s life, to open her or his heart-sense to greater experience of happiness. While we held that friend in prayer, we imagined agape flowing in that life in such a way that a sense of well-being came to that person. As we did this, we began to realize that we were teaching ourselves about agape.

Finally we wished that friend well and moved on to holding a family member in agape prayer. We went thru the same meditation as with the friend. Then we moved on to holding an acquaintance in prayer. Finally we wished that person well, and came back to our
normal state of wakefulness.

We followed up the meditation by again discussing how this was a process that has already been going on, so we just need to develop a way to sense it.