The Rev. Samuel Wells of London wrote about praying in the April 30, 2014 Christian Century. That article came from a conversation after worship in the church he serves. After some ‘coffee hour chit-chat,’ the parishioner took hold of his forearm, and her tone changed. “Say a prayer for my dad, will you? He's not himself, the dementia's really kicking in.”
He gave his standard answer: “Of course I'll pray for your dad. And I'll pray for you, too.” Later he wondered deeply: How exactly do you pray for a person in such a situation? When he later reflected on that question, he came up with this summary of 3 ways to pray.
The 1st he calls resurrection — a call for a miracle. That would be a prayer for healing of mind and body. Wells admits that this kind of prayer is tempting, but he wondered about the times when he honestly feels that healing just isn't going to happen.
The 2nd he labels incarnation — asking that the Holy Spirit to be with the person and family ... give them patience to endure what lies ahead ... and companions to show them agape. He saw a dramatic difference between these two kinds of prayer: "while the resurrection prayer expects God to do all the work, this (2nd) prayer stirs us into action ourselves." Who is better placed to show God's agape than the person praying? Also he felt that her request for prayer was partly a plea that she not feel alone in what she was facing.
A 3rd option (beyond miracles or a comforting presence) is a prayer of transfiguration — looking for something spiritually new. "Show my friend and her father your glory, that they may find a deeper truth to their lives than they ever knew, make firmer friends than they ever had, discover reasons for living beyond what they'd ever imagined." And this kind of prayer can bring the person praying to awareness of fresh insights of meaning and purpose.
After reading that article, I began reflecting on those insights in relation to agape.
The 1st and 3rd ways are opening to the spiritual power of agape as it already flows — to bring “transfiguration” in the life of the person praying as well as holding in prayer another’s life and its possibility of deeper spiritual reality; and “resurrection” thru the power of agape. Because there is always a healing aspect involved in the power of agape, and we have no control over how that healing works, we can actually never do any more than pray for agape to work in another’s life in whatever way agape can work. The outcomes in life are never in our control anyway, so in agape meditation we must always relinquish control whenever we enter agape meditation. The initial part of the 3rd way to pray (“Show my friend and her father your glory, that they may find a deeper truth to their lives than they ever knew”), is the main reason that agape continues to be poured into our hearts thru the Holy Spirit.
The 2nd way is how we let agape work thru the actions of our lives, so that we share God’s agape with the relationships of our lives. So not only do we pray for the person to find more ways to open to agape power, but when we actually are physically with that person, we take the action of sharing agape with her or him. In that way we participate in the flow of spiritual power of agape between persons.
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